By 
Lena Dunham is the most daring lady I know. And it's not as simple as what everyone talks about—you know, all that nudity on Girls. It's Lena's voice—clever, inclusive, and as elegant as Hannah's wardrobe is not—that has created a safe universe for the awkward girl. The voice today is pinging through the phone, while Lena is editing the new season of Girls and hurtling around the country promoting her memoir (if you can have a memoir at 28), Not That Kind of Girl. It's wonderful, by the way. Lena and I have a nascent friendship, bred mostly by Instagram and Twitter. We like each other's pictures, favorite each other's tweets. If I could like and favorite a human, it would be Lena. Lena wrote the book about her formative years—before she found the voice, and what happened when she did.
"From a young age, I always wanted to write and tell stories," she says. "and I didn't necessarily feel like I had the right to." Although she had the artsy New York upbringing and went to the right schools, "I didn't feel chic and I didn't feel special. But when I was writing a story, those were the moments I felt powerful. I was bad at sports; I wasn't the girl that boys liked. But that made me feel like I had something." She had something, all right. The stories that made girls go, "That's me. That happened to me. How does she know?" In some ways, Lena still can't process the power she has. "What's amazing is that, for me, it's created a kind of community I didn't have as a young person." When did she realize she was daring? "People always say, 'Oh, you're so brave for what you do on the show, with the nudity, et cetera,' but for me it's not brave to do things that don't scare you. There is plenty of stuff I find personally terrifying." Such as? "When I have to go head-to-head with someone workwise; that scares me. Assert myself professionally." You're not alone there, sister. "Often I also let things build up before I let someone know what's upsetting me. I'm overly apologetic. I'm also really embarrassed exercising in front of people. And if there are men there, forget it. Hmm, I'm nervous to call people who aren't expecting my call." She starts laughing. "and then I assert myself at the wrong moment. I'll be like, 'Fuck you, I'm done with you!' and someone's like, 'my mom has cancer.' and I'm like, 'Whoops.'" But it is the "whoops"—that unifying "whoops"—that makes Lena the girls' champion, and, increasingly, for the ladies who aren't girls anymore. We talk about hugging people all the time ("I'm desperate to let people know I appreciate them, and it comes off as really clingy"), and getting fashion kisses wrong.
"When my sister, Grace, was little," Lena recalls, "she'd pretend to do fashion kisses, and she thought the noise they made was 'Gay moi.' It was the funniest thing ever." "Let's make it a thing," I say. "Yes!" she squeals. " 'Gay moi'! and it was invented by a three-year-old. So that makes it better." She continues, "In the fashion world, it's important to make girls feel, if they love fashion, that there are different ways to be. You know, not just one 'cyborg' style." "Lena, I wish I had someone like you around when I was growing up," I say. "Ah," she replies, "that is the nicest thing you could ever tell me."
Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham is available now on amazon.com.
