1. These shoes are so comfortable. Your feet are covered in blisters but you'd rather go down in flames than admit that your gorgeous shoes are killing you slowly. Is there anywhere to sit down…?
2. I don't follow trends. *Googles 'How to get Cara Delevingne's eyebrows, then how to wear a crop top.'
3. I'm on a budget; I'm not going shopping for the next month! Going on a shopping cleanse sounded like a good idea until you found out about the Céline outlet—next month for sure.
4. It's Altuzarra! Okay fine, it's Altuzarra for Target *bows head in shame*
5. A $5,000 bag is an investment. Well according to the fashion math equation, if I wear it every day for the next 3 years that would only be $4.56 per wear and that's a steal…
6. I'm going to wear so much color this season. You vow to try bright colors and pastels for spring but somehow end up in an all black ensemble again (with an accent of a red lip—that counts as a color, right?)
7. Of course it's sample size! Nobody can know you've cancelled your pilates sessions 3 times in a row.
8. I'm on my way. You haven't even picked out your accessories yet, there's no way you'll be there on time. But being fashionably late is your thing anyway.
9. I'm not that high-maintenance. I just need life's essentials like food, water and a Chanel boy bag. Oh, and those Alexander Wang booties.
10. I have nothing to wear! The classic, all-time favorite fashion girl lie.
Lauren Alexis Fisher is the Senior Editor at Cosmopolitan, overseeing digital content across fashion, lifestyle, beauty, sex, and culture. Previously, she was the Market Editor at Harper’s BAZAAR and has written for publications including WWD, Bustle, and W Magazine. When she’s not busy taste-testing her way through every dirty martini in New York, you can follow her on Instagram for bad jokes, good outfits, and annoying vacation pics.
